Oh, Just Shut UP

January 6, 2010

Bitch, whine & moan.

For once I’m not talking about the Main Street Media or even anything remotely political. I’m talking to my out of shape, 44 year old body who is resisting with all it has to remain a body at rest.

My brain says “get up and get your shoes on. it is time to run”. My body says “stfu”. My brain says “pick the grilled chicken”. My hand takes the brownie. What is wrong with me? Why can’t I make my body obey?

Maybe it just needs a stern talking to:

“Body. We have to come to an agreement here. We both want to fit back in our skinny jeans, right? So, here’s the deal….I will tell you to go to bed at a decent hour, I will tell you to get up and exercise, I will even plan out meals and remind you to take your vitamins. In return, you will do as I say. That is all.”

Maybe it needs to be reasoned with:

“Now, Body, you know that what I’m asking you to do is good for you…you like it when you get to put on your Spanx and still breathe, don’t you? Remember how good it feels when you finish a really good workout? Don’t you want that feeling? Don’t you?”

Maybe begging?

“Body, PLLLLEEEEAAAASSSE! PUT! THE! BROWNIE! DOWN!”

Sigh.

Paging Annie: “To-mor-row, to-mor-row, I’ll love ya, to-mor-row. Its only a DAAAAYY AAAAAAWWWWWWAAAAYYYYYYY!

Curtain.

Posted in Uncategorized